In June 2014 I worked as a direct care staff at a childcare agency. That’s when I figured out why…
To be there for kids that have been through unspeakable things.
Late one night when I was in a cottage, a teenage girl was curled up in the bottom of a big book shelf and was crying to the point of being unable to breathe. I was working in her cottage as a staff and walked over to her and sat down beside her. She screamed at me telling me to go away, but I still quietly sat there.
A couple of seconds passed and she screamed out: “I feel like I’m crazy! Something is wrong with me.” I looked over at her and said: You aren’t crazy and nothing is wrong with you. Teenage girl: “Then what’s happening to me?” Me: You are grieving (explained to her what that was) Teenage girl: “But nobody has died in my life.” Me: Your mom’s rights just got terminated and you are grieving the loss of your mom…the mom you never truly had. You hurt more than words can even describe because all you want is your mom. You know she’s alive but you can’t go to her…because she’s not safe. You feel crazy because at one moment you are bargaining with God to give you your mom back and then the next minute you have so much hate in your body towards her that you could care less about ever seeing her again. Teenage girl: (Comes out of the bookshelf, moves over to me and falls into my arms crying) “Thank you for not leaving me and staying here with me.”
I will never forget that moment. Soon I will get to start counseling children again when I am a LPCI (Licensed Professional Counselor Intern) and I plan to help as many children as I can.
Anywhere I see suffering, that is where I want to be, doing what I can.
Be Fervently Driven