Between stimulus and response there’s a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and freedom.
Today I was in a situation where my response ended up changing the mood of the whole situation. I believe it was because I applied 3 things that I’ve learned over the years about choosing my responses.I want to share these things with you.
3 Things That Help Me Choose My Responses
- Nothing is personal – (Man..this one took me a very LONG time to grasp) I used to get offended SO easily by other people’s words towards me. I thought everything was a personal attack and that people sucked on purpose just to piss me off. I used to fit very well with the saying: “Was it truly a bad day, or just a bad 5 minutes that you milked all day.” I now do my best to live like this:
Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. — Don Miguel Ruiz
2. People are doing the best they can– I am doing the best that I can, and I know deep down that other people are as well. “It’s easy to judge. It’s more difficult to understand. Understanding requires compassion, patience, and willingness to believe that good hearts sometimes choose poor methods. Through judging we separate. Through understanding we grow.” – Doe Zantamata
3. Boundaries – Having firm boundaries has helped me become more loving towards others as well as myself. I’ve learned that chaos breeds when boundaries aren’t present…AND that there is a difference between reacting and responding. “When you react to something someone says or does, you may have a problem with boundaries. If someone is able to cause havoc by doing or saying something, they are in control of you at that point and your boundaries are lost.” – Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
I’m a work in progress. I do my best to apply all of these things, but sometimes I mess up. That’s when I apologize and do my best to correct things.
If you just apply one of the things above I bet you will start seeing a difference in your life. It’s all about baby steps…because those steps truly do add up. 🙂
Be Fervently Driven